 |
|
|||||||||||
|
||||||||||||
|
Go to: |
||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||
 |
|
|
|
The article on Rapport follows this Newsletter. Scroll down to bottom. |
|
|
|
CHOP WOOD – CARRY WATER HEY GRUMPY, TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN THE ART OF INFLUENCE $50 OFF THE ABUNDANCE PROGRAM
HEY GRUMPY, TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN There are many things that are valuable in life and sometimes you only discover them when they are no longer there. As I was driving on the lava rock roads around the island, the bumps rattling my teeth, which I barely noticed since I was dodging the occasional oncoming taxi, I was again forced to smile at the strangers who unfailingly waved and smiled at me. Samoans walk a lot, since most are too poor to own a car. Most of them don't have running water or electricity. Well, they do have running water, from cascading waterfalls that land in pristine pools from volcanoes of long ago. I suppose that counts for something.
So far (in my travels), the Samoans are the friendliest people in the world. They all look at you right in the eyes, smile long and sincerely and speak in the most beautiful voices that I have heard. They are a very happy bunch. Many of the villages are living off the land, working very hard, carrying their water from the spring, and they seem to really love life. The joy in the faces of the Samoans is a very refreshing change from our seriously busy and isolated lives in the US. Even if you live in very friendly community here in the USA, it is probably not even close to the Samoan friendly. See pictures here. Two weeks later I am in the lobby of my London hotel. Other than the staff who is paid to be nice, there has not been a smile since I stepped off the plane. It seems that jolly old England is not so jolly as one might think. Let me explain. At first, since I was in SMILE mode (from my Samoan adventure) I automatically smiled, nodded, waved at the folk. Gradually I realized that strangers were averting their glance, choosing to stare at the ground rather than make the dreaded eye contact. Apparently the Brits are so afraid of doing the wrong thing and feeling embarrassed that they go to great lengths to avoid doing something that might cause humiliation, including smiling to strangers. I was told this by Brits. I am not making it up. Now I am not saying that you are an unfriendly bunch, I am just saying that you don't like making eye contact with strangers. London was beautiful. I love England more every time I am there. I met many new friends, had a wonderful time at the APHP convention, and even got to see Jerry Springer The Opera. Crudely excellent entertainment. Thank you to everyone who made it so enjoyable at the convention! The Financial Times attended my Financial Abundance training and did a long interview. Look for the article soon. My point- the contrast between cultures is stunning. Being in a culture where family, work, fresh air (none of their homes have walls) and tradition runs deep, the people seem genuinely joyful. The children have no toys. There are no toy stores. They don't even make toys. They play with only rocks or sticks. And they are happy. Really happy. Samoans have to make baskets out of palms so they can haul coconuts and papayas rather than figuring out how to avoid a tax audit. They spend time weaving plumerias into headbands rather than fighting traffic at the mall to find out what is on sale, and buy something they don't need. Chop wood, Carry water. I did learn that you can still get stoned to death, so I think that would definitely wipe the smile off your face. Are you stressed? Get the goods that will lift your spirit and give you a new lease on life. Smiling and laughing makes you healthier. If you have not laughed in a while, and you are starting to think that you are taking yourself just a bit too seriously, remember this. Your health is greatly affected by your ability to smile and laugh. You know Norman Cousins cured himself by renting all those funny movies and locking himself a room for a month. Read the article about how powerful laughter and smiling can be for your immune system. What are you creating in the world around you? Do you encourage others to laugh and smile, or is your pessimism making the environment tense and difficult? Do you avert the glance of a stranger or do you look at them a smile? Are you uncomfortable when someone smiles at you and your only response is to look at the ground uncomfortably? What would it feel like if you connected with others, sharing a smile and noticing that you made them smile back? No cost, no risk. And (of course) I will be happy to hypnotize you to do just that. This month, for our INNER CIRCLE members, one of the CDs will be about feeling joy, seeing the humor in life, being funny, smiling uncontrollably and laughing at life. If you could be hypnotized to find the funny, love the laughter, sing the silly song, would your life be different? I suspect it would. WHAAAT? You are not a member of the INNER CIRCLE? Close your mouth, you are drooling. Go here and see if it feels right for you. http://www.wendi.com/innercircle
THE ART OF INFLUENCE If you could be a master of persuasion, what would you do that you are not doing now? Learning about the power and the science of persuasion is certainly an art. Your ability to be persuasive with others affects your work, family, parenting, friendships and just about everything you do.
The first step is in connecting. If you have never learned about creating rapport, well what are you aiting for? (Wendi is now jumping up and down, arm flailing in the air) "I can help, I can help!" If you are new to Instant Rapport training practice the basic skills with those you meet and find out how differently people react to you. The results can be stunning. Last month, the Inner Circle members received the Power and Influence CDs that hypnotically created rapport, connection, and taught them how to be persuasive unconsciously. These are not for beginners. They are for those that are ready to master the art of persuasion. I am releasing three of the previous CDs (from the inner circle) and making them available to you. Four sessions on Circle of Influence, unconscious rapport, learning the language pattersn and more. You will love it. Or else. And one of my favorites- Lucky You! Hypnosis to be the luckiest person on earth! My book, Hypnotize Your Lover is mostly about learning how to connect, It is not just about love, but about the way we use our body language, words, and thoughts to connect with others. Read more about it here. http://www.wendi.com/news/html/november2003.html Now, I am off to chop wood (turn up the heater) and carry water (get in the hot shower) May peace be in your heart and wisdom in your mind. Wendi PS Remember to join the INNER CIRCLE PPS WEIGHT RELEASE FORUM- come join us, chime in, ask questions. |
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
Rapport "What comes first in a relationship is lust- then more lust." -Jacqueline Bisset In order to create hypnosis there must first be rapport. When rapport is established, there is trust, and when the rapport deepens there is a subconscious trust. There can rarely be suggestibility without trust. There can be no trance without trust. To have trust, you must first be in good rapport with your subject. Rapport is the ability that some people come by naturally. We say that they have charisma. These people seem to have a magnetic personality. People who are able to create instant rapport have a lot of charm, and are very likable. The good news is that you don't have to be born with great rapport. You can learn to have rapport and charisma, and with hypnosis you will learn to get yourself into a magnetic state on command. Being magnetic has its advantages! How do you create Instant Rapport? Having instant rapport allows us to persuade others. Persuasion is the art of bringing someone over to your way of thinking, whether it is for love, money or power. Persuasion can be achieved through language, intention and non-verbal communication. When we meet people who are very persuasive and seem genuine and sincere, we have to make a decision on some level to trust them. That decision is made based on what some people call a gut feeling. This gut feeling can be the result of words, body movements, eye movements, tone of voice, and the ability of the subconscious mind to perceive and compute these at an unconscious level.
What is congruence?
Our mind unconsciously has the ability to find congruence (in other words, does what you say match what you mean?) and check all the data to find out if these verbal messages are matching the internal messages. This congruence is what creates trust in the subconscious mind. When your words, body movements, eye movements, tone of voice all match on a subconscious level, it creates confidence and trust. Our subconscious mind knows if this trust is congruent and that is how we base our decisions on having sex, spending money, falling in love, and entering business relationships. Practicing these rapport skills is going to give you an advantage not only sexual, these skills will pay off big in your business and personal relationships. How does rapport make me Charismatic? Charisma is the charm that some people have when they have excellent skills in making all the outward signs match the internal signs. Add passion and sincerity, including internal integrity and intention and you become charismatic. One thing that charismatic people have in common is passion. They are excited about life and their words convey a passion for what they are doing. Notice some of the charismatic people that you know, and the one thing they all have in common is passion. Charisma can be learned and when a person has great skills in creating excellent rapport, congruence, and passion they have charisma. When you have charisma, you can be a very sincere man or woman and be very desirable to be around. When you are around someone who experiences life with passion you feel your own passion beginning to ignite. Your life feels a little more interesting and you feel more desirable. This is the heart of magnetism. So, what we want to do is: 1. create excellent rapport 2. gain trust 3. induce a waking trance 4. give suggestions 5. persuade another to come around to our way of thinking 6. create an irresistible magnetism First and foremost, you must learn to create INSTANT RAPPORT. Good rapport is the way we feel about someone when we are alike. When the other person feels instantly comfortable with you and they don't really know why, that is probably great rapport. They say, "I like him, he is a lot like me, he thinks like me, he understands me. I want to be closer to him." A Master at Rapport "I am in favor of preserving the French habit of kissing ladies' hands – after all, one must start somewhere." - Sacha Guitry So, you want to become a master of rapport? You must start slowly and learn these skills, or rather master these skills one at a time until they become natural. It may seem odd the first few days, but then it will become automatic. As it becomes automatic you may find that other people respond to you differently. You may discover that others seem more interested in you, or more focused on what you have to say. Here is your assignment for the next few days. You will create instant rapport with everyone you meet. Even on the phone, (matching voice tone and tempo) you will create instant rapport. You must learn this before you can do any hypnosis, waking trance or suggestibility. 1. Match and Mirror the body movements. This one is very important. People who have charisma do this automatically. You stand like them, with the same body posture, you sit like them with your legs in a similar position. You gesture like them, almost as if you are a mirror. You tilt your head like them when they tilt theirs. They will not notice that you are doing this consciously. It will be perceived by their subconscious mind on a deep level and they will begin to trust you without knowing why. The subconscious mind says that you are a lot like them. And we like people who are like us. You might feel uncomfortable doing this at first, and a little self conscious but it will get easier with time, and soon it will become automatic. Once you have the basics of matching and mirroring, you can use self hypnosis to make this skill become an unconscious automatic ability. You will be able to enter their reality and create an incredible connection. Use the tape or CD for magnetism. It will help you to have great unconscious rapport and will speed up the learning process. Listen to this tape for the entire week while you are practicing your rapport skills.
2. Match the persons pace and tone in their voice.
Talk like them, speak slow and easy if they talk slow, fast and excited if they talk fast, and if they are monotone, you must be monotone. If they are excited you must match that level of excitement. If they are sad, you must first meet them in their sad state. It is true that happiness is contagious, but not when someone is in a very different state than that. Once you match their pace, you can then lead them into excitement, happiness or the state you desire.
3. Eye contact. You must maintain eye contact only to the extent that they maintain eye contact with you. If someone looks directly and constantly into your eyes, you match it. If they have wandering eyes, then yours must wander as well. You will create great discomfort for them if you have too much eye contact when they are not comfortable with strong eye contact. It will tell their subconscious mind that you are suspicious or invasive. And if they have strong eye contact, you must get comfortable with it, and allow them to see into your eyes as well. Your eyes cannot dart around the room or avoid their glance. 4. Standing The position we take when we stand or sit with someone creates comfort. Women have no problem standing in a front to front position with other women and there is no invasion of personal space from this positioning. However, in the case of two men, or a man and a woman, you must change the position to a 90-degree angle. For comfort and rapport where there are two men standing, they should stand at an angle to each other. A man and woman should stand at an angle until you have good rapport. Once rapport is established, you can enter his or her personal space and stand face to face. Two women can stand face to face without it being invasive. A woman will feel comfortable if you stand face to face with her once rapport is established, however a man will not. 5. Listening. Before you respond to someone's statement or question, you must get across to him or her that you have heard what they said. This tells me that the person truly cares about me, that he cares about what I say, and that I can trust him. Before you speak, take a deep breath and pause. This tells the subconscious mind of your partner that you heard what was said and this creates trust. If you learn nothing else from this book, learn this: There is a great deal of sincerity, caring and trust that is created when someone conveys that they are listening and attentive to our needs. By taking a breath before you speak, you create a wonderful atmosphere of caring and trust. If you are a habitual interrupter, it may be time to stop talking and start listening. If you listen 90% of the time and speak 10% of the time in a conversation, you will probably be well liked! Interrupting tells me that you don't care what I have to say. You are not interested in who I am, and that what you have to say is way more important than anything I could possibly say. If you are an interrupter you will have a difficult time establishing good rapport. Do these things for one week with everyone that you can. Refine these skills to the point where you are very comfortable with it. Remember that in order to create a Waking Hypnotic Trance in which suggestions are accepted by the subconscious we must first create trust. To create trust, we must have rapport. There is much more to learn, and once you master these skills you master the trance skills and create an opening for trance to happen. These rapport skills are subtle to the conscious mind, but to the subconscious mind they are gold. Now, do it for a week. Don't just think about it, don't just agree that this is a good idea, actually do it! Listen to the Hypnosis for Magnetism tape every day as you are creating excellent rapport. |
|
[Newsletter] [Newsletters you missed] [April 2003] [May 2003] [September 2003] [November2003] [November 25] [Articles] [package links] [Essays] |
|
|
|
|