Do I what? (I always loved that song from Fiddler on the roof)

"Women might be able to fake 0rg@sms. But men can fake whole relationships."
  Sharon Stone

I get inspiration from my staff almost daily. So when one of the women came to me with a relationship issue, I wished that she could take a better look at her relationship from the outside. I think that many of us can benefit from a new perspective, and probably solve a lot of problems in our relationships when we are not so attached to the issues.

Long ago, I learned a technique that is the fly on the wall approach to observing the dynamics communication This can be done for many types of relationships, not just spouses and partners. The point is not to make you feel like a fly, because that is just a little gross, but to make you uninvolved in the outcome, neutral toward the emotions, and not attached to the win or lose.
In relationships, we as human beings (yes you and me both, bub) have a need to be right.


Being right is just a basic human need. If we are right, then we have importance, we feel smarter, we have won. When we are right, we matter, by golly. It doesn't make us more attractive or look smarter or help solve our problems.
In fact, it achieves quite the opposite.
Our need to be right really interferes with our ability to communicate effectively. If you strive to be right, the more you fight for your point of view, the more you are trying to make your partner wrong.
The more you make them wrong, the worse they feel.
The worse they feel, the more they don't like you.
But, gosh darn it, you won. And you walk away with your feathers all puffed up, strutting around just a proud as you can be.
And you will be right. And unhappy. Your partner will also feel right. They might feel that you are an asss hole, and the funny thing is- they will be right.
You have probably heard it said that you can be right or you can be happy. Make sense? Am I right or what?

Wayne Dyer taught me something about being right. When you feel the need to argue or try to win your point, first stop yourself, and say "You're right about that". Remember those four little words. Acknowledge the feelings of your partner.
They are right.
They think you are wrong. When you say "You're right about that" the person realizes that you are not going to do battle with them, and your warm and fuzzy self becomes instantly more understanding.
The dynamic will soften and communication will flow.
Follow up with the very important word, AND.
Here is how it works.
You are frustrated.
You feel an argument coming on.
Your partner has the look in her eyes like she is going to slice you into little bits.
You resist the urge to be right.
You say, "you're right about that" then instead of saying- "BUT you just don't get it."
You say, "and, I understand how you feel___",

Instead saying of- BUT what you don't realize is______.
You say, AND I what I want you to know is ______.

Now when you contrast that approach with your usual need to be right and you say, "But you don't know what you are talking about. What the heck, you are crazy, you idiot moron beanpod". You may just realize how much easier it could be to stop making your partner wrong, and let them know you understand.

And what does this have to do with a fly on the wall, you ask?
In the hypnosis session I recorded, you become the observer in the room. You get to watch yourself being an idiot moron beanpod, and take a moment to reflect. You take the position of the fly on the wall, observe and then you will enter the mind of your partner and see from their point of view, you will go back to fly on wall and observe, back into your mind and say "I feel ya" and then back to observer. Cool, yes?

And the end result (hopefully) will be that you will be able to step back and take a new perspective when you are having a discussion that needs a bit of, shall we say, understanding.

This CD - REFLECTIVE PERSPECTIVE , includes the FUTURE VISION which will take you into the future to see your relationship in a year, in two years, and in five years. Those little things that seem to bug you right now, might become big fat issues in this future vision, OR you might discover that this person is just right for you, and those little things were just little things.
If you are wondering, as many of us have, if this love will last, take heart. Your inner mind knows things. Taking this journey into your future will tell you almost everything you need to know. You will also be able to create some perspective that will help you solve some of your current issues.

We have combined this with the Connecting CD (creates an intuitive connection to help create compassion and insight) , and the How Do I Love Thee (creates the ability to express your feelings and say what you really mean). You can have all four sessions for a mere pittance.
Find out, go here.

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."   Rod Stewart


If you are a Hypnotherapist, or a counselor or psychologist or doctor, you may want to prick up your ears for this one. Scott Sandland is an expert in the field of hypnosis and pain control. He specializes in the medical applications of hypnosis, especially pain. Dentists and doctors often increase pain in their patients because they don't know that their sentence structure is creating powerful negative suggestions that will increase pain.

A while back, I was having a laser treatment, and the doctor didn't use any anesthetic on my skin. Well, I managed to put myself in trance and imagine the sensations of the laser to be cool water. It was really working great until the doctor said (and I quote) "You really seem out of it, are you in pain? I don't want to torture you." At that point my blissful sensation of cool water turned to laser torture. I was doing so well, until he just blew me out of my trance.
This is a two day seminar, in Los Angeles. Scott is an excellent instructor and you will be as amazed as I was at his demonstrations that will prove how powerful your words are to create pain or pleasure.

Quick tip- watch what you say when you are with someone who is in pain.
If you want to increase bleeding and pain you could say-
"Wow, that is really bleeding bad"
Or if you want a screaming child to feel more pain you could say-
"Wow, that must really hurt, you cut it really deep".

But if you want to do something constructive, use the words that create the sensations you want.
"That will feel better in just a moment"
"You will notice that feeling just fading away in a moment"
"Begin to draw the blood back away from your leg, away from that area"
"You will feel that part of your arm becoming limp and relaxed and when I touch it, you will notice a cool sensation as all the feeling melts away"
Notice that the word PAIN is never used, because we don't want the brain to focus on a sensation of pain, rather focus on the sensation or feeling going away.

Attend Scott's seminar and learn how to implement powerful methods of pain control

Need pain relief now? Enjoy the discovery of letting go of pain. Learn the real cause of your pain and release the internal conflict that is making it worse. This CD has brought great relief to many. It can help you too. When you order this week, we will include JOINT FREEDOM, to release discomfort in your joints and create flexibility.


If pain can be minimized with hypnosis, imagine what it can do for birth. Yes, birth can hurt like hell, but it also can be a rather pleasant experience. The tension and fear that is created from hearing stories about how painful it will be, is like being hypnotized to enhance the torturous effect. A woman who is using Hypnosis for Birth can be very relaxed, to the point that the doctor and nurses feel she is not progressing. However, the doctor might say "When you are in transition you will really feel the pain". This will make the mother anticipate the pain to come. I have been with birthing mothers who maintained their relaxation throughout the birth process, to the point that you couldn't tell they were having contractions. When it is time to push, it is still intense, but the baby is born in just a few pushes since the body is so deeply relaxed. The tension and fear that normally accompanies birth creates resistance that opposes the birth process. This works to hold the baby in, while the uterus it trying to push it out. A dandy combination.
Hypnosis for birth is simply amazing. If you know someone who is pregnant, please ask them to read this- and find out how wonderful birth can be.

Take 50.00 off when you order the DVD and CD set. Use the coupon BIRTH and receive the discount.


Need some expert help with your website? Check this out- A friend of mine is taking new web design clients. Melody will help you take your web site to the next level.


Music, Mind and Spirit. Unleash your musical genius. Sing, play, write, create.
Use the coupon MUSIC to get it for half.
Play your music from your spirit and feel the healing that music can create.

Here is something you might enjoy.
That's all for now.
Be right or be happy!

Peace on Earth,


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