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Here are rough notes about our anit- charisma webinar. These are the chat responses from participants to the questions I was asking.
THESE ARE THE COMMENTS IN THE TEXT CHAT DURING THE WEBINAR
The instant qualities of charisma.
What is your most charismatic quality?
good eye contact
my smile
Sense of humor with a wry twist.
I am a naturally positive person'
good eyes great voice
great smile
body language
What is your most anti-charismatic quality?
What would turn people off?
talk too much about things I'm fascinated in.
my shyness
impatience, occasional moodiness
talk too much and control the conversation
sometimes unable to come up with things easily to keep the flow of the conversation smoothly
How would you know that someone is losing interest in you?
the glazed eyes, looking very confused.
the other person tries to change the subject
It's pretty easy to read my face when it comes to emotions
shyness - sometimes just let things go and/or slip away
self consciousnes
i'm with u jim... have the same problem
What would you do to create charisma?
pay attention to what they have to say
flair
keep our total focus on the people
empathy
enthusiasm for them
ask them about them
tempo
i think subdued confidence
use their name
What do people want to talk about the most?
themselves
themselves
their most interesting subject is themselves
What is a question that will help them to talk about themselves? (An open ended question)
Have you read any great books lately/favourite author
what is the most fulfilling thing about "X"
how much do you weigh
lol
What did you like most or least about where you grew up, your family?
What do you like to do when you have a free day?
have trouble many times thinking of open ended questions on the spot
whre did you go on your last vacation
what are your hobbies ?
what was great about your last vacation
open ended
leading?
Leading
Why ask an open ended question?
requires deeper thought than a simple answer
do you remember a time when you were in the mood to have a great seminar?
thats right
what are interesting things you saw at your vacation ?
what would you do differently if you went back again?
how about those yankees1
no, no, not sports
what type of sports do you enjoy
what would u do if u didn't have to work at the job u have now?
what would be your dream job?
thats a great question
If you could live in another country, where would it be & why?
What bad habits are really annoying and would instantly break rapport?
audible farting
pick at body parts
ask me how much i earn
not listen to what you have to say
that lower scratching thing
nose, dig in ear, crotch
they have teenagers
ego fills room
patronizing attitude
just kidding'
talk too loudly and bad tonality
talk about themselves to the exclusion of everything else
show disinterest. Not open to others opinions.
talk about politics
bat speling
start talking about sex & we've only just met
negative talk
me too
can't follow the conversation
depends ... some it's like get a life
her fav subject... herself
also when they are judgemental (again -ve)
they start talking about what they did in high school study hall today
they look away the whole time.
talk to you and stare at the skies
or talk too fast or slow.
yep, interuption screws up everything.
people who touch a lot while talking
irritate that person
talk too fast ,continuosly ,few pauses
Get a bondage gag for that dude....
closed body language... ex keeping your arms crossed or facing away from guest
Before you butt in and interupt a person, you can take a breath and absorb what they just said.
Why would this be helpful?
gives them the impression you're taking the question seriously.
u give an impression that u know what u are talking about
thinking about the sentance
process what the person has said
you are pacing there breathing.. and pausing causes them to focus on ou
there is anticipation on the listeners end
take time to plan well what we are going to say instead of just being an automatic response
More anti-charisma, annoyance strategies:
Usually the thing that annoy u most are reflections
talking at the same pace builds report
they talk over you
when a person replies to a completly different sentence to the one I said.
looking at thier watch
also pen clicking, gum chomping
change jiggeling - I agree!
different sentence "then"to the one I said.
drumming fingers, antsy pants fidgeting
yes!
someone who is arguementative for no apparent reason
getting too close
nervousness
Doing other activities while talking to me ,such as talking on tel or watch tv while talking to me
I hate the devil's advocate ploy!!!! Grrr
but someone's got to play the devil's advocate
using certain words repetitively, "like", uhm, eh,
While on the phone, what breaks rapport?
joey: type on keyboard
Pegge: talk to someone else
paceandlead: talk slow
Jigish: eating
Jim: sleeping
DV8-1: can you hold... when they called me!
DV8-1: click...bye bye
DV8-1: when they ask me to hold
kalpana: if u have to repeat yor questions
Marni: listening to someone on a cordless, going to the washroom, ick
DjembeQueen: at least it's not Video Phone
Jim: Like the Flush wouldn't be obvious
Marni: yup
Jigish: talking on multiple telephones at one time
paceandlead: mute button
Jim: I don't - they might
paceandlead: we're perfect
Marni: I may be guilty of being distractred by the TV while on the phone
Jim: They can hear your smile, too
joey: turn off the tv
paceandlead: surfing the net
DjembeQueen: i'm guilty of gum chewing when i'm without a cig
paceandlead: reading email
DV8-1: you can tell when they are not focused on the convo.
Jim: Actuall, the phone is a time waster and you should judst go meet the person for lunch.
kalpana: i watch T V or surf net while on phone
What can you say on the phone to let the person know you are really hearing them?
Sriram: hey, its so nice hearing your voice
Pegge: How wonderful to hear from you!
Jigish: thanks for calling and I was just thinking of you
kalpana: Hi your call made me miss a heartbeat
paceandlead: thanks for calling it was great to hear from you
Jigish: today after speaking to you, I am feeling so good and relaxed
Gideon: How good has your day been so far?
kalpana: you were great on the phone hope to hear again
Gideon: presupposition of Good
Sriram: breathe deeply, and then say i am looking forward to talk to u soon
paceandlead: hearing from you really made my day
Gideon: good tonality
Marni: I always feel so good chatting with you, lets do it again soon, lets get together
Jigish: I will miss your call. will look forward to speak to you soon.
These notes are the partial text chat from our last webinar. Of course, the audio presentation is missing, and thise
are simply responses to the questions and audio conversations. Enjoy! See you at the next webinar.
Wendi
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